A Few Good Women

There is only one scene I recall from the movie, A Few Good Men.  It's when Daniel Kafee (Tom Cruise) demands the truth behind the death of a soldier, in which Colonel Jessep (Jack Nicholson) emphatically counters, "You can't handle the truth!"  This famous line has since become one of the most utilized movie catchphrases, commonly found in parodies, satires, and friendly banter amongst friends. 

As I revisit the film that undeniably traces the harsh road to unraveling the ugly truth behind human nature and its absorption of power and abuse, I am reminded of the call for us Christians to live lives that are directly contrary to the patterns of the world in seeking the truth in God's perfect will for our lives and humankind.  This truth that we strive for is certainly one that we can handle, as we walk to obey the command, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2).

I would like to talk about a few good women today-- godly, upright women who have committed themselves to serve as mentors in the Fellows Program.  They come from various walks of life and span across a great spectrum of testimonies and conversion stories.  These are women who have conscientiously made the decision to interrupt their lives to help us walk through this journey in utmost respect and humility.  They have availed themselves to love, listen, and rebuke at times in order to guide us in the way we should go so we do not depart from the truth (adaptation of Psalm 22:6). 

We first met the mentors during the kick-off weekend few weeks back.  We were introduced to these ladies, who would spend the weekend with us in the Blueridge Mountains.  We were to eat, laugh, and perhaps cry together... and ultimately decide which of the four would best fit our needs for one-on-one mentorship.  Throughout the weekend, the mentors were intentional about giving each one of us an opportunity to get to know them and to arrive at our own decisions.

I initially wondered why the choice was given to us in the first place.  All the ladies seemed wonderful, and I would have been fortunate to have any of them assigned to me and intricately embedded into my life.  They each seemed to carry an element of me, and I knew their unique insights (through their lived struggles and triumphs) would help develop me as a mature Christian woman.  But as I surrendered to the process, God soon revealed distinct needs in my life that could be addressed by each mentor.  I then had to lay them down and decide on the element that would benefit the most from a mentor-mentee relationship.

I met with my mentor one-on-one for the first time this past weekend.  I felt the conversation was an indication after another that this union was not a random act but one that had been guided by the Lord.  This reminded me of the freedom I mentioned in the previous post, the great freedom that Christ gives us to soar with Him within His bounds.  Although there had been boundaries set by the program to select a mentor from a pool of the designated four, we were given the freedom to choose who would best fit our needs.  And before such selection could be made, we were challenged to identify, delineate, and grapple with different aspects of our personhood to clearly articulate our vulnerabilities.

Christ has given us the great freedom to explore our lives even though the outcome is ultimately His. Instead of forcing every thought and action on us, He allows us to partner with Him and struggle through life with Him.  And though I had planned the course in arriving at the decision, it was the Lord who had already determined and guided the steps to His ultimate outcome and provision (adaptation of Proverbs 16:9).  It is in this that I marvel at God for allowing His brilliance to shine upon the C. S. Lewis Institute to design and implement the program to reflect His ways of doing things and to allow us to grasp His intelligence both through our minds and hearts.

Is this the type of truth I want and could handle?  I've never been so sure.

Co-Existence of Boundaries and Freedom

One of the key elements of the Fellows Program is building relationships with one another.  Every month, we are required to meet for fellowship with our core groups, accountability and prayer with our quads, and one-on-one sessions with our mentors.  Although this may seem simple, it is not an easy task for 12 busy women (8 fellows + 4 mentors) to coordinate their schedules to gather and share quality time with one another.  But what amazes me about this process is the heart of these women who are genuinely excited to come together and eager to inconvenience themselves to honor this commitment. 

Last night, we held our first quad meeting at Cheesecake Factory.  Although this was a "meeting" of some sort, it was nothing short of old friends coming together for good eats and conversation.  We were able to dive right into one another's lives and shared things that were weighing on our hearts, our ongoing struggles, and areas where we needed each other for accountability.  This was an incredibly safe environment where we feared no judgment or condemnation.  As one of the ladies so clearly articulated, "Vulnerability begets vulnerability," as we welcomed the exercise of being broken and built up together.

This lead me to reflect on what true freedom is.  Although these meetings had been "forced" on us, as mandated activities of the program, there were immense treasures and freedom that awaited us.  These bounds created the unique space for us to freely and unashamedly come before one another, confess who we are at this particular stage of our lives, and strive toward the common goal of being true vessels before Him.  Our time together wasn't about our accomplishments, our spheres of influence, or any other type of pedestal the world may have placed us on.  It was the sheer simplicity of His people coming together to find ways to endure our trials and triumphs together.

It was precisely these strict guidelines of the program that forced us to prioritize our lives around one another.  We were not given any room to sway away from this commitment, and I believe it is this boundary that opened our eyes, minds, and time to such an enriching time of edification and acknowledgment of His grace.  Through this simple lesson of coming together with a group of vulnerable lovers of Jesus, He has reminded me once again that it is for freedom that Christ has set us free (Galatians 5:1).

Start of the Journey

As I embark on my nine month journey with the C.S. Lewis Institute Fellows Program, I am filled with awe and excitement over the transformations God will bring through this experience.  I've been a follower of Christ as long as I could remember and can't link my conversion to a particular event, but He has taken me on a gradual path where His magnificent being and supreme authority have poured over my life time and time again.

Michael Wilkins could not have given a better description of my conversion story through his work, In His Image:

"Many people who grow up in Christian homes are not always aware of the beginning.  For many it comes in the natural course of their growth.  They may have turned to God in a moment not connected with a crisis event, so the experience of the awakening is not remembered consciously.  Their spiritual life was initiated by God more quietly in the secrecy of their inner person." (p.91)

As I begin to reexamine the path that was so wonderfully conceived in the secret place of my childhood, I now make the transition into this public platform to trace my walk with Him and to become more transparent and vulnerable before Him and His people.  My aim is not only to account for the awesome awakening that will ensue as a direct result of the program, but I also pray that He will allow me to use this journey to trace my entire life line in Him that began long ago and one that has sustained me over and over again.

I stand in great expectation that God will bring life-altering blessings and renewal to my life during the next nine months.  He will awaken parts of me that have been dormant and allow His hidden and unknown plans to come to pass.  He will restore my joy and turn my wailing into dancing.  He will remove my sackcloth and clothe me with joy.  He will position my heart to sing to Him and give thanks forever.

THIS will be so much greater than what I can envision and will far exceed beyond the program.