The media, in the recent weeks, has been rampant with reports of highly politicized figures who have violated the integrity in which their marriages stood upon. One of the media outlets that I frequently visit presented a string of cases in which infidelity had been committed against many of the women I have come to admire and follow as professional role models. What really grieved me was that these women were highly intellectual and accomplished individuals who seemed to lack nothing. Yet, each of these women had been admittedly (and not-so admittedly) blind-sighted by their spouses.
As series of questions began unraveling in head, I was faced with the question of what it would take for a straight-thinking, driven woman to be guarded against such failure of trust and accountability from their loved ones. Was there really no hope? Were we all doomed to such ironic tragedies regardless of how well-mannered, educated, and forward-thinking we were aiming to be? As I found myself digging deeper into this issues, the more hopelessness clouded my thoughts, asking if it was even worth pursuing that “model life” as a DC professional.
I once heard that when you’re a Christian, you seem to have a lot more “coincidences.” Coincidence or not, I believe the Lord was speaking to me even through these agonizing moments. Although I came to connect the dots after putting down the book, Millar Erickson’s “The Postmodern World” was speaking to me about the faulty fundamentals which I stood on. Knowingly and unknowingly, I had let the thoughts of the world creep into my way of thinking, ever-so enticing me to use the faults of the broken world as the basis of my own worldviews.
I worship and believe in a perfect God, not in the world that has become so broken and defiled by wickedness. I had somehow let the attitudes and behaviors of others dictate how I would feel about those around me and project their behaviors. Furthermore, I came to confront how much of the self-centered thinking I had placed on myself. In place of receiving everything in thanksgiving, I had somehow begun responding to many of my circumstances with “I deserve better than this… This isn’t how things should be.”
Ever since when was I so “entitled” to a trial-free life? Jesus didn’t promise the road would always be been wide and trouble-free. What He did ask was to look to Him and center my thinking and my faith on Him. In The Reason for God, Tim Keller speaks of centering our lives on him “to make the purpose and passion of our lives knowing, serving, delighting, and resembling him” (p. 228). And if the beauty of what Jesus did truly moves me, then that should become the first step toward getting out of my own self-centeredness and fear into a trust relationship with Him (230).
What it all came down to was that I was not moving to the beat of the love Jesus had shown me. I was still walking in my own self-centeredness and defining what would be right in my eyes. The types of information I was allowing to feed into my brain, the sources of “truths” I was eliciting in place of His word, and the faulty righteousness I was attempting to conceive on my own… these were all sins within me, as “sin is centering your identity on anything but God” (Keller, 231).
All this came to a full circle when Art Lindsley spoke of the “true truths.” So often I had adopted the “truths” of the world without weighing them against the true truths that came from the Father above. I had so effortlessly notated world circumstances as truths in my schematic way of thinking and allowed non-scriptural influences to grip me with fear, distrust, and sadness. All these worrisome notions were fruitless and in vain, as they stood contrary to the very fruit of the Spirit which is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).
Since learning to understand and decipher today’s world in the final weeks of the Fellows Program, I have made alterations to the way I seek my sources of information every morning. I strive more to seek the Holy Spirit, the ultimate guide of truth, before I start off the morning with the messages of media. I am now working to fill my thinking with His ultimate truths that He has spoken to us and the specific truths He is speaking to me that day.
This has also opened my eyes that I do not need to look far to see great examples of integrity around me. When the Lord gently nudged and reminded me that there were wonderful brothers and sisters in my community that, though not perfect, strove to live in truth and integrity before the Lord, I was humble once again. More to their amazing careers and ministries, these were transparent people who strove to bear the same fruit of the Spirit I was reaching for. These were the very role models and sources of encouragement God had placed in my life. I needed not look further… they were all around me… just as the Lord is in my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment