Lifelong Learning of the Call

A professor once told me in the early stages of my Ph.D. study that I would someday become instrumental in creating institutions for those who have been left out of formal institutional protection. It took me several years and the encounter with Annunciation House [dissertation site] to truly understand and appreciate this calling in my life.

Many years have passed since I've written this excerpt in my dissertation, yet I continue to find my way back to this statement.  Though life has taken on a different form since then, I cannot let go of the very passion that drove my work in my twenties.  This is the work that I am so honored to have been part of, as it privileged me to share life with the migrant poor and capture their stories and struggles through my writing.   

Annunciation House is the first place where I learned to correlate my primary calling as a follower of Christ in my daily walk.  This calling is described by Os Guinness in The Call as one that is “by Him, to Him, and for Him" (p. 31).  Through this, I shared work with individuals who desired to serve the migrant community in profound ways, as Jesus related to the poor on this earth.  These were very individuals who strove to live and work by Him, to Him, and for Him and to "think, speak, live, and act entirely for Him" (p. 31).

My life has changed drastically since the dissertation days, and the Lord has provided me with a stable career, loved ones, and a solid spiritual community.  Though this is the life I had craved and worked towards as a student, I cannot let go of the call of working with vulnerable populations and creating institutions/safe bounds where they could seek better livelihood.  And I am at times saddened by the realization that I have not responded to this call fully. 

For as long as I could remember, I knew that I wasn't called to a "normal" life in terms of following social conventions and becoming content with living the "American dream."  I also knew that the Lord never really dealt with me in a "typical" manner (comparatively speaking) and has somehow allowed me to live different realities, experience unique circumstances, and come across friends who have also led non-conventional lives.  This is what kept me going throughout my twenties.  But somehow, with the comforts of life, I eventually began losing sight of this and desiring things that were not really me. 

Such struggle can somewhat be reconciled by Guinness who describes calling as "not only a matter of being and doing what we are but also becoming what we are not yet but are called by God to be” and the “fusion of being and becoming” (p. 30).  Though I may not fully understand why certain things have come to pass while others have not, I am painstakingly finding my way back to the place where I could grapple with not losing sight of the passions He has ingrained in me.  This comes with the challenge of simultaneously calling upon Him daily and asking that He continue carving parts of me for His ultimate fulfillment in my life.

I do know that in trusting and following Him for these things, there will be things that I may not understand, but I must still trust and follow.  Where there is darkness, I trust He will illuminate His light so that I do not lose sight of what He has already given me and continue trusting for what is to come.  This will call for unwavering faith, as Joseph and Daniel have both endured, and allow the Lord to continue working on me despite the circumstances.  So that when the time comes for Him to reinstate other "Annunciation Houses" in my life, I will be more equipped than today... more trusting than today... and more faithful than today.   

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There is a time for everything, and a reason for every activity under heaven.  [Ecclesiastes 3:1]